A partners guide
***Key Points***
Be present
Be hands on
Be an advocate
If you are privileged to be with a woman as she gives birth –she will make sounds you are unaccustomed to but you will be struck by her strength, her determination and the power of the body to grow and birth a baby. Do not disturb her or she will be thrown out of rhythm. But rather move with her, breathe with her and create a space around where she feels private, nurtured and held but above all loved.
***Key Points***
***Preparation***
Prepare for birth and parenthood
Take time to prepare yourself for birth and for parenthood
Understand the process – understand what is happening during labour. What does normal labour look like and sound like.
How will you feel seeing your partner, the person you love going through this very intense experience and your role is not to take that away, but to be there, to support and walk alongside.
Confront your preconceptions and assumptions about birth before you are support for the person. If you feel anxious in the birth space a mother is very perceptive to this in an unconscious way. Accept the process and know she is capable of birthing your baby. Stay calm, nothing is wrong. If your partner says I am scared, acknowledge her fear – I understand you are scared, I am here, I am with you, I love you.
Be strong, confident, gentle, patient and kind
***Preparation***
***Early labour***
Early Labour
- Create a calm, dimly lit environment at home
- If overnight try to rest
- Watch a movie, a favourite series, a comedy – distract, spend time, enjoy each others company
- Drink plenty of water, favourite teas or flavoured waters
- Eat regular small nourishing meals – think date balls, toast, avocado on toast.
- Play music you love
- Move around, walk the local park or rest on an upright chair or birth ball.
- Notice the time from the beginning of one contraction to the beginning of the next
- Locate the bags, food for labour, partners bag.
- Let work know you won’t be in, arrange the pet sitter
Enjoy the time as you prepare to meet your baby
***Early labour***
***Transferring to hospital***
Transfer to Hospital
If you are transferring to hospital to give birth, this can at times be a difficult transition from the safety and privacy of your home to the busyness of a hospital enviuronment
Set the car up before you leave.
Ensure you partner has her drink bottle, music playing, supporting pillows.
A blanket from home
Drive with care
Remind your partner she is safe. You are with her
***Transferring to hospital***
***Active Labour***
Active Labour
The birth environment
Labour and birth are very sensory experiences, create an environment where your partner feels secure, safe, protected and familiar.
Soft lights, closed doors, quiet voices
Use natural essential oils – dab them onto her pillow or top.
Comfortable pillow, picture or personal objects can create a focal point and sense of safety.
Music is also another way to bring about comfort and distraction, making labour less stressful.
Avoid disturbances and unwelcome people in the birth space so you feel private and unobserved
Limit the number of people coming and going
***Active Labour***
***Be hands-on***
Be hands on – practical support
- Blanket from home, pillows for support
- Warm heat pack / cold cloths
- Help you to the toilet, reminding you to empty your bladder
- What physical support would you partner find helpful – Change positions
- Acupressure
- Laugh lighten the mood – laughter releases oxytocin
- Familiarise yourself with all the practical techniques for labour. Massage, acupressure points, heat packs.
- Offer sips of water ice chips and small amounts of nourishing easy to digest food often.
- When you arrive – set up the room as a familiar, safe environment, soft lighting, music and oils.
- Water – bath or warm shower. Trickle warm water over back
- Assist your partner with changing position Help you to move into labour and birth positions as you choose and support your weight if needed use pillows bean bags and other mats to ensure she is comfortable and supported.
- Try the birth ball, sitting in the toilet or upright chair.
- Hands and knees, leaning over a c\ball or bean bag
- Standing, swaying, walking up and downstairs
***Be hands-on***
***Be present***
Be Present – be attentive
Be a strong quiet presence
When you trust your partner and your team implicitly and are cared for with loving kindness, compassion and respect this allows you in labour to focus inwards. Fear and doubt are contagious in the birth space and women in labour are very perceptive to the people’s emotions around them. Labour takes time…trust the process.
Be present for your partner and at ease with silence. Your presence is power, be prepared to just be. A strong, loving presence is transformative in birth. Create an oxytocin rich love environment. You know what makes your partner feel loved and cared for and nurtured.
Birth can be challenging and tiring, understanding the process can ensure you able to stay centred, calm and present for your partner in labour.
Use kind and loving words – I love you, you are safe, I am here for you, you can do his – I am so proud of you
***Be present***
***Be an advocate***
Be an advocate
Having talked about birth preferences and knowing your partners desires and wishes for birth – you can ensure the birth preferences are respected.
Speak up and communicate with the Midwife, build a rapport
Build a relationship with your Midwife
Be a compassionate communicator.
If a Midwife or Doctor is suggesting an intervention use the BRAIN acronym.
***Be an advocate***
***Birth partner hospital bag***
Birth Partner Hospital bag
- Change of clothes
- Bathers
- Snacks
- Drink bottle
- Toiletries, toothbrush deodorant etc
- Glasses
- Phone charger
- Camera and charger
- Copy of your birth preferences
***Birth partner hospital bag***
Birth Partner guide for Caesarean Birth
